If your looking for LDS - Bienvenue Progress
Well, it won' be here. I have discontinued my Bienvenue as well as my Token, It might be sometime before I pick it up again, if at all. As usual my son has taken all the joy and happiness of giving, caring, and just being a part of his life and family right out of me.
Its a long story, but it goes back to when my mother died some 18 years ago, Dan since then has slowly been editing me out of his life. He has informed me on so many occasions that he didn't like the way he was raised, the fact that my mother was is day care provider and so on. (I guess I should of just gotten a stranger) But I was taken by my grandmother so, and my mother had made the offer and so who better to see that he got attention and love. He has spent the better of the past 18 years running away from me (us) with disappearances for years at a time. He did drugs and drank, we took our retirement and paid for rehab, he came back, just to run off again and get married. So I missed that moment. He had ups and downs in marriage, had a child, and then called after 8 years of marriage and announce they were separating. So he came home, and stayed for 6 months, and then moved on to Florida since first wife was moving there.
So down he went to Florida, didn't hear much from him till he mentioned a new love in his life. Then he called in March 2005, saying they were getting married, they set this up with as if it was a small family wedding in June 2005. Okay so we went down, it wasn't a wedding, it was a commitment thing, on the beach, it turns out that these two had actually got married in January 2005, and never told us, also they blantly lied the two of them all the time and through all these phone calls in March, about having his Dad stand up for him and so forth....(so I missed seeing him wed again)
We are just not that important to him.
Well now they just had a child, and since its a boy, I guess that is what prompted this next altercation. He called and asked for the picture of my Dad in uniform, and then he wanted his medals. I asked why, he told me that I was too possessive, I still asked why. He said because Stephanie (2nd wife) has a friend that puts the uniform together with picture and medals in shadow box. I said no, Im not parting with them, till Im gone. He said I was too possesive, and I explained that is all I have left. He then went on to hammer me about my mother, how sick she was and how I never did anything, I tried to explained (it what voice I have, see my bio) that I did know, that I was aware, and I knew she was going to die. He just kept yelling at me. I HUNG UP.
I will not be treated that way, I will not be talked to that way, he has no respect for me, and will not so why continue. I have buried and taken care them when they died at an early age, I never saw them grow old together. My father died when I was 22 (he was 56). My mother died when I was 34 (she was 63). I am now 53. They both died of terminal cancer.
I called him back the next day, with (OUR) decision, and left it on his vm, he is to call only when he can talk to me with respect and sensitivity to my feelings. That as parents we do things that we think are the best for our children. I would of thought this would of been understood since he is parent, guess not. He stated in all this demanding that he is like my father. (my father died in August 1975, Daniel was born in October 1975 - he never met my father). I told him you have romanticized idea about my father, but in NO way our you close to him. He respected and loved his mother, he supported till the day she died and he went to see her. (he was one of 8 children, raised in a holler in WVA, no pensions back then)
So I guess there will be no communication, because Dan never sees any error on his part, and I have continuely let him do this (yes its gone on before) and my husband says well try to talk to him, well it lasts for awhile then he is right back at it. So if he hates me that much.. well, I don't know I just need some peace.
Sorry to bore anyone who reads this, It helped me put all of this into focus.
Im still stitching, always will. I will post soon. Im working on LDS "Do Bears" and "Katrina Pet Sampler"
Its a long story, but it goes back to when my mother died some 18 years ago, Dan since then has slowly been editing me out of his life. He has informed me on so many occasions that he didn't like the way he was raised, the fact that my mother was is day care provider and so on. (I guess I should of just gotten a stranger) But I was taken by my grandmother so, and my mother had made the offer and so who better to see that he got attention and love. He has spent the better of the past 18 years running away from me (us) with disappearances for years at a time. He did drugs and drank, we took our retirement and paid for rehab, he came back, just to run off again and get married. So I missed that moment. He had ups and downs in marriage, had a child, and then called after 8 years of marriage and announce they were separating. So he came home, and stayed for 6 months, and then moved on to Florida since first wife was moving there.
So down he went to Florida, didn't hear much from him till he mentioned a new love in his life. Then he called in March 2005, saying they were getting married, they set this up with as if it was a small family wedding in June 2005. Okay so we went down, it wasn't a wedding, it was a commitment thing, on the beach, it turns out that these two had actually got married in January 2005, and never told us, also they blantly lied the two of them all the time and through all these phone calls in March, about having his Dad stand up for him and so forth....(so I missed seeing him wed again)
We are just not that important to him.
Well now they just had a child, and since its a boy, I guess that is what prompted this next altercation. He called and asked for the picture of my Dad in uniform, and then he wanted his medals. I asked why, he told me that I was too possessive, I still asked why. He said because Stephanie (2nd wife) has a friend that puts the uniform together with picture and medals in shadow box. I said no, Im not parting with them, till Im gone. He said I was too possesive, and I explained that is all I have left. He then went on to hammer me about my mother, how sick she was and how I never did anything, I tried to explained (it what voice I have, see my bio) that I did know, that I was aware, and I knew she was going to die. He just kept yelling at me. I HUNG UP.
I will not be treated that way, I will not be talked to that way, he has no respect for me, and will not so why continue. I have buried and taken care them when they died at an early age, I never saw them grow old together. My father died when I was 22 (he was 56). My mother died when I was 34 (she was 63). I am now 53. They both died of terminal cancer.
I called him back the next day, with (OUR) decision, and left it on his vm, he is to call only when he can talk to me with respect and sensitivity to my feelings. That as parents we do things that we think are the best for our children. I would of thought this would of been understood since he is parent, guess not. He stated in all this demanding that he is like my father. (my father died in August 1975, Daniel was born in October 1975 - he never met my father). I told him you have romanticized idea about my father, but in NO way our you close to him. He respected and loved his mother, he supported till the day she died and he went to see her. (he was one of 8 children, raised in a holler in WVA, no pensions back then)
So I guess there will be no communication, because Dan never sees any error on his part, and I have continuely let him do this (yes its gone on before) and my husband says well try to talk to him, well it lasts for awhile then he is right back at it. So if he hates me that much.. well, I don't know I just need some peace.
Sorry to bore anyone who reads this, It helped me put all of this into focus.
Im still stitching, always will. I will post soon. Im working on LDS "Do Bears" and "Katrina Pet Sampler"
posted by Jean at 9:07 AM
4 Comments:
Dear Jean, I'm so sorry for whta happen with your son. He is now a father, everything we do to our parents y will suffer with aour kids, unfortunally that is way some people learn the lesson.
(((HUGS, Jean))))
Your are right, and I wish could be closer to you to gve my support.
{{Hugs}}
Concetta and Mayte, I thank you both, it took a while for me to decide to post at all, but its cathartic.. now Im stitching for me..
Jean, try not to let your son make you so sad. One day he will have regrets. You know what is true and that is all that matters!
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